How to be a feminist without being “that” feminist



So, I wholeheartedly believe in feminism. I believe after a few thousand years people should be equal, no matter “puzzle pieces” (you know your love makers) , skin color, sexual orientation, etc. But some girls get to be a bit, well… obnoxious about it (I would say bitchy but that makes it sound as though being a female of the dog variety is a bad thing). You probably understand what I’m talking about. You know those girls that constantly blame men for all heartache and hell. Well I think there is a difference between feminism and and just plain old, well, stupidity. For instance this girl may break up with her boyfriend because of some issue and then she continues on to tell everyone that men are the spawn of Satan and go through a prolonged lesbian period (not that that’s bad, in fact most lesbians are 20 times the awesome of this girl). And come on, we all know the actual spawns of Satan are the post limit on tumblr, period cramps, and the fact that chocolate isn’t technically “healthy”. But that’s not the point. I said I would teach you how to be a feminist without being that feminist and so that I shall do!

Step 1. Understand what feminism is.

The actual definition is: the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men. Makes sense, right? If you don’t get it, basically feminism is the movement that women are equal to men and deserve the same rights. So if a man can vote, women should be able to vote. (And once upon a time, women couldn’t vote!) Feminists just want to be considered equal and not given extra rights or having any taken away for the specific “puzzle piece” biology assigned them.

Step 2. Understand that if women want the same rights as men, they get the same rights as men.

The main issue I have with that feminist is that they want the rights that are good for them but they don’t really want the responsibility that comes along with it. Like, they want equal pay, but they still expect a man to buy them stuff. Personally, I think it’s a ridiculous tradition with roots from before women could work. Since I have a job and the guy I’m dating doesn’t, obviously I can pay for myself and him if I feel I want to. Not to say that women need to cover the whole date, just that we as females should be independent enough to pay for ourselves. Who’s with me?

Step 3. Choose your own beliefs and opinions.

To take part in any sort of movement, you must take a stance on the issues at hand. Have you heard of the conflict over pro-life or pro-choice? I’m personally pro-choice but that’s not to say that all feminists have the same beliefs. If you can make an argument for your stance, then you are on your way to being an activist. Just because one feminist believes one thing doesn’t mean you must agree. Just educate yourself and don’t let others fog your mind wave space.

Step 4. Discuss your beliefs and opinions with others.

Although in the last rule I said, “…don’t let others fog your mind wave space” doesn’t mean you can’t converse over these opinions you’ve created. Have a lively debate with a friend with opposite views. Listen to what they have to say and share your thoughts. “Sharing” does not mean “shove your beliefs down their throat until everyone hates you”. (That feminist doesn’t seem to understand this nifty tidbit.) And if someone says something that gets you thinking, well then, the conversing was pretty damn successful.

Step 5. Make a feminist patch to put on your jacket so people will know you’re a rad cat.

I have yet to finish this step but I feel it is quite important. Take some sort of patch and decorate it however you please! Maybe write “feminist” on it, or don’t. It’s your patch. It’s like a badge of honor to tell the world that you have opinions! Put it on a jean jacket that doesn’t send any symbols. After you add your spiffy patch, you will be stating “Hey! I’m cool! Come talk to me”. And trust me, they will… (but only if they’re as cool as you and your patch).

Basically, if you want to be a feminist, you are a feminist. As long as you believe women are pretty groovy (and men too). So wear your patch and independence with pride as you go off into the world of worldliness! You are a goddess/god/whatever-you-wish-to-be/mermaid-because-who-doesn’t-want-to-be-a-mermaid!

Love in the most platonic of senses,


P.S. Optional step to be added in anywhere: Burn bras!

4 thoughts on “How to be a feminist without being “that” feminist

  1. You missed the BIGGEST part of not being “That Feminist”. Equality works both ways. Women should be equal to men, AND Men should be equal to women. Gender equality is not maintaining female privilege while also gaining male privilege, but excluding male obligation. Any real discussion of gender equality needs to include the wage gape AND the homelessness gap. It needs to include reproductive rights for women AND MEN. It needs to be about the lack of women in top management and the lack of women in prison. “That Feminist” thinks and act as if there is only one gender, women.

    • But see to me that’s a given. I totally get what you mean but I just didn’t even think about mentioning that. It’s sad that some people need to be told. But if you read through I didn’t use any gender exclusive words. Anyone can be a feminist, man or woman

      • You did use very gender neutral language in your post. You are not excluding men from being feminists. You didn’t identify the biggest most significant totally rampant part of being “that feminist”. “That feminist” is not promoting gender equality, but promoting women. I agree it’s sad that people need to be told that equality is not “women =” but “women = men”. That doesn’t stop it from being true.

  2. The feminist paranoia is very sad in our society, I openly admit that I am a male-hating feminist on my about page. I am not, but you get my point! But yes, I am a feminist and I believe that females should empower each other to create a female centric culture, that is free of male bias, that is why I am creating a new feminist magazine, check it out, maybe you would like to join? If you like it then just fill out the form and we will contact you as soon as possible.

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